Also I am in hypomania. If I don't manage well, I will get into mania.
Lizzie knew me better. I cannot get excited.
I think I lay low tomorrow.
I will start the Fitness 22 training program in the morning. In the afternoon I just walk.
That means I'll sleep early tonight.
LESSON FOR THE PAST ONE MONTH: I HAVE TO PRACTICE SELF-RESTRAINT
I think I blew it with everybody.
This hypomania is bad. I have to admit that I was all over the place.
I WAS NOT COOL.
I was over excited meeting Munek.
Definitely I cannot smoke pot. If I am like this without pot, with pot I will be in mania.
I have to move with certainty.
I have to assume that I was on the right Path, hypomania or not.
At least the effect now is still within control. I am still aware.
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Now is to manage the hypomania.
The only answer is not to email anybody and no social media.
I have too much passion while I am in hypomania.
As you know, I cannot get excited. This illness is really embarrassing. I hope you understand. I don't have self-restraint either.
Damage control LOL.
Well, that's all I can do. It had been like that since I was a teenager.
I used to feel guilty when I overreacted. Now I just do damage control. Fuck it.
I am Mr Jones.
So what do I do? I should keep my world small.
This podcast is really a bad idea. I'll give it a shot though
LESS IS MORE.
Less interface with the outside world is good.
Less stimulation
Less Els
Less Radzi
Less Munek
Less interaction
The only person who I can relate to is Yati.
Yati said to cool off Els for a week.
Recent Tweet from Els Dines
My Time - JK
on repeat since Thursday. Helped me get over a really tough time. BTS RUN made me laugh. Grateful to be an ARMY
I decided not to give the green packets to Pal's staff. Instead I used the money to pump petrol.
From now on I have to stop the loving feeling to Els. It is escalating the hypomania.
I NEED TO COOL OFF.
[12:31 PM, 5/31/2020] sharudinj: This is another material we can use: https://sharudinjamal.blogspot.com/2016/11/buyers-beware.html
[9:50 PM, 5/31/2020] sharudinj: As you know, I cannot get excited. This illness is really embarrassing. I hope you understand. I don't have self-restraint either.
[11:45 PM, 5/31/2020] Perth Pal Singh: I read it. You have interesting thoughts here mate. lots to explore
[11:46 PM, 5/31/2020] sharudinj: Seriously Pal... I am a mental patient. Why are you taking chances on me?
[11:49 PM, 5/31/2020] Perth Pal Singh: bro, we are not going live. So there you go....risk management 101 😂
[11:51 PM, 5/31/2020] sharudinj: Yeah, true... But you are already flying high. Why do you want to risk your reputation dealing with the mentally ill?
[11:52 PM, 5/31/2020] sharudinj: Have you thought about that part of the risk?
[11:55 PM, 5/31/2020] sharudinj: You are like PT Barnum, the Greatest Showman 🤩🤩🤩
[11:55 PM, 5/31/2020] Perth Pal Singh: I walk on the wild side and at times.... the dark side 👿. You may be the conduit/opportunity to go where no sane person has ever been. Hahaha
[11:56 PM, 5/31/2020] sharudinj: Now I understand...
[11:57 PM, 5/31/2020] Perth Pal Singh: Inside the mind of a Bipolar... not an opportunity to be missed bro
[11:58 PM, 5/31/2020] sharudinj: 🤣🤣🤣 Well you saw my blog. That's pretty much it
[11:58 PM, 5/31/2020] sharudinj: Wild as wild can be...
[11:59 PM, 5/31/2020] sharudinj: But if you choose to be my traveling companion, then I am going very far...
What I know though as far as the mind of a Bipolar is concerned, from the time I decided to infaq my wealth to the time I decided to get well 20 years later, those are the effect of the dopamine surge on the brain. All are unreal.
That is why right now I think I should stay away from Els. Anything to do with Bipolar is unreal to me. It's all amplified thoughts that doesn't make sense.
My relationship with Els doesn't make sense. There is no relationship.
I CANNOT GET EXCITED.
Now I am normal again.
I got to sleep Sarah.
Here is your lullaby:
TORN
Even you Sarah i[n] (is) my Unreal but Beautiful Princess hahaha. Goodnight baby. I love you so much.
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