Dear Sarah,
I finished reading a chapter of Keep on Running. Since I am not sleepy, I thought I write something before bed.
I had been thinking about my relationship with you. I enjoy your presence very much but at the same time I don't really know what is your true feeling when I am being forthright about my thoughts towards Els.
I know it is not a sexual attraction and yet I adore her very much. I don't really know Sarah. Am I being unreasonable to you?
What am I supposed to do? Just go with the flow?
Eventually I have to stop idolizing her.
I think I better start doing it by the time the MCO is over. I have to move on. She is not into me. Otherwise she would have replied my emails.
As I said I am doing it as a hobby... A time filler...
It is fine if it is just passing the time. The problem is I am also emotionally attached to her while she doesn't seem to care.
Never give up said Kikuo Ibe.
I did all *[I did] (that) because it makes makes me feel good about myself.
* So you approve? You don't mind me pursuing Els? I'm just being true to myself; that she is my wife and soulmate.
Maybe it is true that she doesn't *[write] (like) to write back. Otherwise it is a healthy relationship. She makes me feel good about myself.
* So far for the past 2 gigs she had been playing my requests.
I think I just let her be. As I said she is Pigeon Tame. I don't want to jump into conclusion. As far as I know she is accomodating enough for me. Too close I get a bit jittery. I like the distance we have right now.
OK Sarah. I'll continue my relationship with Els.
I better sleep. I intend to meet my 3 criterias tomorrow.
Before I go, I like to say that you are really a darling to let me manage 3 spouses. As you can see, each of you have your own idiosyncrasies. It helps much that I can talk to you as a soulmate and not just another friendly party. As a soulmate you are my reflection. As it is we are among spouses.
OK Sarah, see you 6:30 am tomorrow.
Goodnight baby.
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