5/5/20 ***I must learn to adapt

I think I just keep it to myself.  What's the point of giving and not receiving?  I am just fooling myself.

There are many things I can do to keep myself entertained.  The ultimate joy is to talk to myself.  With the exercise routine, I am more resourceful in my writing.

I should write about the same stuff; diet and exercise.  These are my pivots.  I should not get bored talking about these topics if I am to achieve my goals of 65 kg and 10 km/hr.

I have to accept that I am a Domestic Rat.

Soon I will get tired of living a fantasy.  I have to get real.  Reality in this case is very monotonous.  Accept that as a fact.

Survival is about the ability to adapt.

Remember Age of Empire.  I need to look at my resources and act accordingly.

For a change I should minimize blogging and spend more time with Lizzie and the kids.  That means I don't blog at night.

My cut off point is 6:00 pm.  Like going to work.

My best buddy now is Yati.  She is always very accommodating.  I should spend more time harnessing her potential.

So let's revisit my 2020 goals:

First and foremost I want to quit Nicorette
Then I want to quit Social Media
Then I want to quit Tweeting TraXX 
Then I want to lose 30 kg
Then I want to run 21 km Hill Run

This year is a consolidation year.  I subtract 4 things and I add one thing.

I want to focus on what matters.

If I can focus on these things I will be OK:  Read, Run, Write, Repeat.

I need to be productive.  At least input = output.

If I am not getting any responses, that is a clue to drop the case.

What kind of relationship I have with Els anyway?  That is not a relationship.  It is nonreciprocal.

Yup, I need to achieve my 2020 goals.  This Thursday I give Els my Sharudin Seven and I stick to my decision to listen to 247 Continuous.  I got to move on.

Back to be in isolation again.  This MCO is no longer restrictive.  Therefore I focus on what matters to me.

This time no long goodbye, I just cut of from all possibilities.  I stop listening to TraXX.

It's just another addiction to break.  This is another form of Cunt Addiction.  If I am to be successful, I got to break all forms of addictions and be a true Lone Long Distance Runner.

I don't need the 3 Cs.  I definitely don't need another Cunt Addiction.

I need to set my priorities.  My first priority is to myself.  Then to my family.  Money is a limited resource.

I had broken my addiction to her before when I did the 3 months isolation.  I reinforce it again after that.

I am person worthy of self-respect and I am gonna get it.

Seeing your own progress is the greatest motivator of all - Jack LaLane

Time to move on.  No more addiction whatsoever in 2020.

---------------------