7/5/20 ***Killing her with kindness

If it is the kindness game she is playing, I play according to the game.

This is what she considered as kindness:

Good evening. 

Thank you for sharing all your days. I'm glad you are taking care of yourself during the MCO and staying at home and obeying social distancing. Good to see you are keeping yourself active. 

Please do not buy any gifts for me as I might not accept it. Don't waste your money on unnecessary things on unnecessary people. Live a good life. Live a full life. Take good care of yourself and your family. 

Of course I will never be ok that you fat-shamed me and so many other people. You are one of the reasons why so many people are victims of cyber bullying. I hope you will change your habit. You are a grown man. You are a grown up. So act like one and speak like one. I hope you won't do it to other people in the future. I have chose to ignore it because I don't really care what people think of me. But other people might not be as open minded. So please mind your words and what you put on the internet. 

Take good care of yourself. 

I responded with a Striking Cobra, the Zen style:

A senior monk and a junior monk were traveling together. At one point, they came to a river with a strong current. As the monks were preparing to cross the river, they saw a very young and beautiful woman also attempting to cross. The young woman asked if they could help her cross to the other side.

The two monks glanced at one another because they had taken vows not to touch a woman.

Then, without a word, the older monk picked up the woman, carried her across the river, placed her gently on the other side, and carried on his journey.

The younger monk couldn’t believe what had just happened. After rejoining his companion, he was speechless, and an hour passed without a word between them.

Two more hours passed, then three, finally the younger monk could contain himself any longer, and blurted out “As monks, we are not permitted a woman, how could you then carry that woman on your shoulders?”

The older monk looked at him and replied, “Brother, I set her down on the other side of the river, why are you still carrying her?”

Still she doesn't object me writing to her.

So I keep the option open.

-------------------

She is hurting, obviously.  On the other hand I am bordering on pervertism.  

So I want to RIPCORD today.

It is fated that [] (I) RIPCORD today.  That's what I wanted to do earlier.  But at that time I had a panic attack.  Now that I had responded with the Two Monks and the Woman story, I don't feel that bad at all.

It is very appropriate that I RIPCORD with that story on Wesak Day.

I don't feel bad at all doing it now.  If it is not meant to be, it is not meant to be.  That is what had been decided by my Path.

--------------------