I just realized one thing. If I am not depressed, then the day will pass very fast.
Today is such a day. I feel very relaxed and at ease.
Even if I lose Els, it's no big deal. Bring it on.
After I did my financial forecast, I realized that I cannot afford to have an affair. All cost money.
If I am all by myself I live a simple life. As it is I still need significant amount of money to replace my gadgets and to buy new running shoes.
I hope (and this I really hope) that I can be cured of Bipolar and break my addiction from the 3 Cs.
If I can do that I think I can get rid of the black depression.
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What can I say Sarah, all this while I was suffering from Bipolar. Only beginning of 2019 did my situation began to be manageable.
As of 2020, I still cannot manage my excitement when I sold my watch and my blazer. I think I scared the prospect for blazer away. Fuck him to his grave.
I am certainly not an ordinary guy. I am an X Factor. I will not compromise on that. Not to Els and not to the blazer prospect.
If I cannot sell the blazer, tough luck.
I just don't care anymore. I just want to live my life the way I deem fit.
Sure enough I am a social misfit. So what do I care?
I had found a sweet spot in living. Plus compare to those who are up to their neck in borrowing, I am a Free Man.
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What else do I want? If I live within my means and I live in gratitude, nothing.
What I want is a fancy seafood platter at Red Lobster or a juicy steak. That's about it. Beyond that I already got my bases covered. Even so, with this new norm, it will be difficult to eat out.
I will be eating apple and butter for lunch and normal meal for dinner.
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