* Thanks for loving me Sarah.
Maybe I am fated to be unloved by Els. Then again we don't know for sure. I just assume that.
At the same time, today is Wesak Day and I am a Bodhisattva. So I have to respect the lesson I am getting here.
What is the lesson? In my case I have to forget Els. I cannot go on having a hurtful relationship with a non reciprocating person.
So starting from today I RIPCORD Els. I guess that's what she is expecting from me.
Women are like that.
I have to try writing without depending on her as a muse.
A relationship should be empowering. If it is not, then it is not a relationship. It's just a mental torture LOL.
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OK then I will do my best to be productive by just writing to you.
If we can manage all these years, then I think we should be able to do it for years to come.
As you can see, I was more productive when I write to Els.
That is because I was in a happy and loving state.
Let's give it 2 weeks to break the addiction...
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My issue is I think I am too self-absorbed with her. Once I dismantle that fantasy, then I will see things as they are. She is just another chick. Nothing special. I had been putting her on a pedestal.
So first rule is to cut off all ties with her:
- No listening to TraXX
- No Tweeter
- No Facebook
- No Email
As long as I listen to TraXX, I am still attached to her. I need to break from the attachment.
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I can do it. This is when the 3 Cs reference comes in handy. If I can quit 3 Cs I can quit anything.
Definitely the station to listen to is Absolute Classic Rock.
I need the mindset of Mulder the Fox.
Yes, Mulder in inside my mind.
Hey, how about I start my TraXX 3 Years Isolation tomorrow? The time cannot be better.
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