I am glad I get the money from Munek. That is certainly a game changer for me. Now that I will getting some money from Pal I am in a much better position. I can save more.
I think I'll buy 2 running shorts. I'll buy some fish oil and magnesium too.
I decided to buy 2@200 Capsules 300 mg Moringa at RM35 each instead.
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OK I will not Tweet anybody. I am all set to start my training at 6:15 pm, Week 1/Day 1.
From now on, it is a no donation policy for me. Charity begins at home. Luckily I only donated RM100.
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My mind is very normal today. I had a good rest.
I need to change my strategy. I need to listen to 247 Continuous instead of TraXX.
[9:06 PM, 6/1/2020] sharudinj: Imagine Pal, all the thoughts during mania were thoughts influenced by dopamine surge. All these things about Iblis, djinns, demons, spirits, Sparta 4964, the Adjoining Croissant, Al Araf 7:7, Crew 36, House of Two Swords, Global Telepathy, Empire of the Minds, World of Hybrids are unreal. These things I mentioned are the visions I had when I was in mania.
Bottom line, from the time I turned to religion in 1998 until very recently, my judgment was affected by the illness. During that 20 years I was living in an alternate reality dimension. It doesn't make sense. As far as the mind of a Bipolar is concerned, it was a distorted reality.
[9:08 PM, 6/1/2020] sharudinj: Here is an example..
[9:13 PM, 6/1/2020] sharudinj: Another Example:
I[9:18 PM, 6/1/2020] sharudinj: These are my views now:
[9:18 PM, 6/1/2020] sharudinj: http://sharudinjamal.blogspot.com/2016/12/my-take-on-world-religions.html
[9:18 PM, 6/1/2020] sharudinj: http://sharudinjamal.blogspot.com/2016/09/in-search-for-truth.html
[9:19 PM, 6/1/2020] sharudinj: http://sharudinjamal.blogspot.com/2020/03/6320-there-is-no-truth-beyond-what-we.html
[9:20 PM, 6/1/2020] sharudinj: My stand now is I believe in God and the afterlife but to me all religions are man made. They are not divine.
I cannot change the world. So I am changing myself.
Thought Invasion is addictive. When I communicate with a person, I am actually invading that person's thoughts.
So know to change Pal into a convert. As I said, I am a Traffic Police waving the traffic to the direction where they are going.
Baby, I know my digital communications are being monitored. Should I be worry?
Am I gonna be paid for all these ramblings? I need the money so that we can settle down. Unless you are happy the way we are, it takes money to move to the next level.
Speaking of money, I need to buy the Sports Toto number - 4209. Very unlikely to win but whaddaheck. I'll give it a shot.
Let's write to Els. I am in my jovial mood.
It's better to love and lost than not to love at all
Honey,
I am so happy the Muhibbah Trio is back. I know today is your playlist.
I decided not to Tweet you. Tweeting you gets me excited and that leads to hypomania.
I was in hypomania since Hari Raya. Today it subsided.
Look baby, I like you A LOT, you hear? Therefore I don't want to make another silly mistake and lose you.
You are my inspiration darling. At the same time I got to be mindful that I cannot contain my excitement. Right now I am back to normal. My normal is other people's eccentric. Much like your Tuesday is the new Monday LOL.
Occasionally when you feel like you need a friend to talk to, write to me. My 24 hours is cash. So I can spare my time listening to you.
Treat me as a person who cares about you deeply. I am of no threat. I maybe eccentric but in reality I want to love you and to be loved by you.
In this case love is an eternal energy that we can harness to attain peace and bliss.
It is never a sexual thing between me and you. I like you because you are smart, funny and goofy. I know I said this many times but let me say it again; you are my Dream Girl. You are my sunshine when I am lost for inspiration. A muse so to speak.
I hope things are going well with you. If you need a shoulder to lean on I am here. I may be rough on the edges but seriously, I care about you.
OK Elsie, I gotta sleep. I already started my 10 km training today. So tomorrow morning I am King Sisyphus once again.
Love you always, 3,000 times.
Sine cera,
SJ
1/6/20
Recent Tweet from Els Dines
one time for the present. two time for the past
Sent you a email. Here is your lullaby for tonight: youtube.com/watch?v=NU9JoF Good night. I love you so much.
Happy that we met each other
Now til' the very end
I'm just doing pattern interruption here.
WAKE ME UP WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS
Sarah, I had made many broken promises to wake up at 6:00 am. I imagined you were waiting eagerly on the other side for us to rendezvous. Tonight I'll do my best to fall asleep early so that I wake up early.
Here is your lullaby honey:
STRENGTH OF A WOMAN
I think I'll make it tomorrow. Goodnight baby. I love you so much.
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