I guess what I meant was I miss just being with you.
We used to talk about a lot of things. Things that others don't care about. I know you care about me.
Well, I decided to venture out of my comfort zone from here on. I want to see what the world has to offer. Am I really destined to be great? Am I really here to make a difference?
As it is, when I tell my story to my friends, they all say that I am lucky for having a great life. I can't complain.
I feel like writing to Els.
Through the looking glass
My dear Els,
As I told you, you are my inspiration to keep on writing. So here I am sitting in front of the PC and suddenly I feel the urge of writing to you.
You are my muse baby. When I think of you I think of this huge ball of energy radiating so much light that it illuminates everything it touches.
Sarah knew this. I always talk to her about my feelings for you. Sometimes when I don't have anything to write, just thinking about your sunny disposition is enough to start my creative juice flowing.
Today I feel like sharing with you my thoughts on making a difference in the world. At this point of time I can say that I am in a very comfortable position. If I don't do anything else but read, run, write, I am set to live a very happy but solitary life for a very long time.
However, we all need to pay rent to occupy the space we take to live on planet earth. We need to offer service as long we are alive. In this case we need to create value in ourselves in order for us to be deemed worthy of being alive.
My service is microscopic in nature. At least that's what I thought. I have my public blog, Dreams of Mirrors, I have my daily house chores and I have an audience of two (you and Sarah) for me to share my thoughts with. That doesn't last very long. Pretty soon I have to extend my service to a wider audience with the podcast and the keynote speaker assignments.
What message do I want to bring to the world? What does the world need?
Well, there are plenty of things I can talk about but the thing that is close to my heart is talking about mental illness. When I became ill, I believe that there is a higher purpose to that. At the very least it's a lesson for me to live life as a survivor. Nothing is created in vain. By being ill I appreciate my life as a blessing.
However there is a formula to it. I need to remain inspired. I can only do that as long I am emotionally aligned to you and Sarah. Both of you are like power generators that create sparks in my synaps. When I communicate with the two of you, I see things that I do not see before. With you especially, my horizon expands exponentially.
I hope you don't mind me continuously writing to you. That is the only outlet I have to reflect on my thoughts. Writing is a sieving process. It's like panning for gold. The more I write, the batter I write. It is a probability game. While the odds of finding gold is very low, the quantity justifies the quantum of gold I collect at the end of the day.
For example, if the probability is 1%, the quantum of 1% of 1 million is bigger that the quantum of 1% of 100. Do you follow?
So my darling Els, as I told you; as long as you don't object to me sending you emails, I will keep writing to you. By writing to you, I am more focused on my purpose. I become a reservoir of ideas in motion.
What I like about the whole process is I am continuously being productive. Therefore this creative process is actually a collective effort. You and Sarah are my raw materials for my idea factory to produce more gems and jewels for the masses to consume. You understand?
In that sense, both of you are the contributory factors for me to be a knowledge worker to produce nuggets of wisdom for me to sell to the knowledge society. Is that cool or what?
OK honey, my cup is already full to the brim. I got to continue with my work. One last word; please darling stay the way you are. You are perfect as it is.
Love you always.
Sine cera,
SJ
7/6/20
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I was sitting in front of the PC when suddenly I have the urge to write to you. So I sent you an email. Nothing heavy. Just passing thoughts...
Well Sarah, that's pretty much it.
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