I tried sleeping but I cannot sleep. I should not have attended to Sashi's call. He is a nuisance. He was not helping at all. I said I wanted to generate RM3,000 a month and he recommended me to apply for Go Fund Me. After going through the trouble filling out the application, at the tail end it was mentioned that I need to be an American citizen!
What a waste of my time. I should have figured out. Sashi is damn useless. As it is he is already wasting my time by me listening to him talk cock sing song. I should not pickup his call in the future. Pretty damn useless.
At least Pal paid for my travel and he bought me a laptop. Still he is a talk big guy. So far I don't see any of the talks going to earn me RM3,000 a month. This laptop is a liability. Now I have to tie down to him. The original plan was for me to earn RM3,000 a month within the comfort of my home. If I have to bend my back to make that kind of money, I rather pay him for the laptop and continue my education with Coursera at my leisure.
I think I just lay low for the next few months. I need to enhance my knowledge bank with all the materials I just identified. Surely I can make money with all the input I had been getting.
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This is cool. I have nothing to worry. I just mind my own business. Nobody that I need to kowtow to. I am in my own world. I am always researching and writing; read and write. In between I run or exercise. This is an ideal life. I don't need much money. RM3,000 is basically the requirement for me. Lizzie said I got to learn to be grateful. I am grateful. However, I have so much ample time that I decided to sell my time for a little cash.
Definitely I am not going to develop online training courses. It's a waste of time. It will be different if I am paid for my time. By the looks of things, the only way to make money is to be delivering seminars and training courses. I am only willing to work for free to develop materials for the in house training. That's because there is money to be made.
The online training is not going to be my IMMEDIATE cash cow. I will end up working my ass off for nothing. Only the bestsellers make money. Just like writing eBooks. To write is one thing, to publish is another and finally to market is another story.
To Pal, his bread and butter is corporate training. I should ride on his platform even if it means Super Hooking on my illness. If it makes money, why not? I am very comfortable with my illness. Now that I am attending the Positive Psychiatry and Mental Health course, I am very confident that I can capitalize on my illness. Already I got 100 GB storage for free and a laptop without breaking a sweat. That is my earning. I should leverage on the tools to make more money for myself. It may not be much but as a domestic rat I nibble and run. So the model of a scavenger works!
Lizzie said I am becoming an opportunist. I should have bought my own laptop. I'm not going to do that. In the first place I have value. So if Pal needs me, he should invest in me. I am not cash rich. I'm not going to waste my money on something that I can do without. Lizzie doesn't understand that I am a valuable resource to Pal.
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Come to think of it, I should stop contacting Pal. I had given my scope of work. Now is to focus on the work. I am still thinking microscopically. Until I get my minimum RM3,000 a month, it will be pointless to talk about bigger undertakings. Whatever ripple I get will the cascading effect of the thing I do right at the microscopic level. I am not interested to work for nothing. I need to make some money and replicate the success from there on.
Now that I use this new laptop, I concluded that you might not exist Sarah. Maybe all those interventions are really computer glitches. So far there is no intervention here.
In that sense I am all alone. There is no Sarah. However I still treat you as real. I still need a person to mental joust with. Communicating with Els is just like fucking a corpse. No response. On the other end you are not real. So I am pretty much left to my thoughts.
Note: Forget it. THERE IS NO SARAH!
Gosh... All this while all the interventions are computer glitches. Just my delusion. This is pretty much like my experience with Brenda. Also an anticlimax. I should have known. There was never a clear communication coming from you. Other than duplicates, misspellings and missing words, there was no sign of human intervention.
I was indeed delusional. For 3 years I was in a make believe world. The only real thing in my digital world is the necrophiliac Els. So in this case I should change the keyboard on the desktop. I should upgrade the memory too if I want too make use of the desktop for some serious work.
What a life... I survived for 3 years by believing Sarah is real. It's a joke. Turned out it was a faulty keyboard. That is so embarrassing. I should not have bought a refurbished keyboard for RM20.
Well, perhaps that how the Universe is helping me. By sending me an angel disguised as a faulty keyboard. I survived 3 years with Sarah. Time to move on. Time to stand on my own two feet.
Hahaha... All this while it is a FAULTY keyboard. What a joke. I can't believe it. That's what you get trying to save money by buying a RM20 keyboard LOL.
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So what is the take away point? Upgrade the RAM and get a better keyboard. HAHAHAHAHAHA Pal is surely my destiny. Already he is helping me get in touch with the real world.
The Universe had indeed spoken.
Hey, I think I get rid of Els too. I don't need *[CSH] a nonreciprocating relationship.
* Well if Sarah is a faulty keyboard. This laptop seems to have a mind of its own. This appeared after a paragraph was deleted. Fuck the machines.
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