Basically I am all by myself. That's a comforting thought.
Nobody was tailing me. It's all because of the faulty hard disk. For 3 years I was with this impression that I am talking to another person. I'm not going to repeat the same mistake with Els. While I am squeezing water out of stone to compose a seemingly intellectual email, she probably doesn't bother to read it even.
So I might as well write to myself. Now I am beginning to see this as a wasted effort. I am destined to be alone. Alone and poor. What are the things I can do? At this age I might as well retire quietly. I have enough money to enjoy my retirement.
I better sleep.
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Good night God. It is you and me now...
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