Now I am out of one outlet. Not so much because she was angry at me. She has the right to be angry. I mind raped her.
I don't handle breakups very well. Always they recurred back. It is very hard for me to let go. I am the type that's easy to start but hard to stop. However like the 3Cs, I will stop eventually.
Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
To her that was the tipping point. Fat is taboo and I crossed the line. So if that is the value that she assigns to the relationship, then she is putting the priority to a petty issue.
I got to see things as what it is. She is not in love with me. I was delusional and I was burning a hole in my pocket for her. Imagine if she accepts my lunch offer, that's RM200 down the tube.
This is all part of the addiction. I need to break the pattern. In the long run it is not healthy. Just like the 3Cs. I was addicted to Rex too. I got over it. Now is to break my addiction to TraXX and Els.
This Flyfm is not bad at all. Less talk even though there are commercials.
So I got to look at this relationship as another version of the 3Cs. It costs money and it is detrimental. The example is what I am experiencing now.
Azzue and I had a good laugh just now.
So beginning today no more Els. She is trouble with capital T. I should look at her as another subset of the 3Cs.
I wish I can turn on and off my emotion like the light switch.
----------------------
No comments:
Post a Comment