Friday, 3 April 2020

>>>#4/4/20 Analyzing the pattern of hypomania

As before the issue with me having hypomania and then eventually mania is I didn't realize that the mania is escalating until it is too late.

Today I had an episode of hypomania.

Here are the symptoms:

  • I had a lot of likes from FB
  • I get overexcited with jokes I posted
  • I started to make the blog available to the public
  • I was multitasking
  • I communicated with Rex
So how do I avoid from having hypomania escalating to mania?

  • NO FB
  • NO JOKES
  • The blog to remain private
  • Avoid multitasking
  • Avoid Tweeter
This is the first time I pay close attention to my hypomania.  The most obvious is to not joke with people in FB. 

I am prone to be over excited when I joke around.  I think joking create the highest level of dopamine surge.

Second is when I made the blog public.  This happened when I am already in hypomania.  I am less inhibited about my thoughts during hypomania.

Third is multitasking.  That makes the brain super alert. 

Finally, I should avoid Tweeting at all cost.

I now realized why I am super productive during Sound Journey.  It is because I get my constant dose of dopamine at that time due to the songs being continuous.  It's like getting a constant dose of drug without any interruption.

My best work is during this time because my mind is in Superfluidity.

So taking the lesson from there, definitely I should avoid FB at all cost.  Shit, if I'm not careful I can get hooked on the likes.  I admit, it is very addictive.  It get's translated by the mind as me being a likable person.  Very dangerous.

Jokes are fine but when I share a joke with other people, I became neurotic.  I cannot keep my cool.

What is the lesson here?  I better keep things to myself.  I already got Sarah.  I can be as crazy as I can be in here.  However I should not allow my craziness to go beyond the parameter of the blog.  That is what this blog is all about.  For me to do a social distancing.

NEVER EVER MAKE THE BLOG PUBLIC for whatever reason.

I have to remain Private.  Otherwise I will repeat the same mistake I did 20 years ago.

I have the right tool and the perfect vehicle to live my own fantasy.  I DON'T NEED THE OUTSIDE WORLD.

This illness can be contained.  All I need to do is identify the triggers and avoid accidently pulling them.  My damage with Els is irreversible.  At the very least I should avoid making a fool in FB.  Otherwise I will keep losing friends.

--------------------


No comments:

Post a Comment