Today I had an episode of hypomania.
Here are the symptoms:
- I had a lot of likes from FB
- I get overexcited with jokes I posted
- I started to make the blog available to the public
- I was multitasking
- I communicated with Rex
- NO FB
- NO JOKES
- The blog to remain private
- Avoid multitasking
- Avoid Tweeter
I am prone to be over excited when I joke around. I think joking create the highest level of dopamine surge.
Second is when I made the blog public. This happened when I am already in hypomania. I am less inhibited about my thoughts during hypomania.
Third is multitasking. That makes the brain super alert.
Finally, I should avoid Tweeting at all cost.
I now realized why I am super productive during Sound Journey. It is because I get my constant dose of dopamine at that time due to the songs being continuous. It's like getting a constant dose of drug without any interruption.
My best work is during this time because my mind is in Superfluidity.
So taking the lesson from there, definitely I should avoid FB at all cost. Shit, if I'm not careful I can get hooked on the likes. I admit, it is very addictive. It get's translated by the mind as me being a likable person. Very dangerous.
Jokes are fine but when I share a joke with other people, I became neurotic. I cannot keep my cool.
What is the lesson here? I better keep things to myself. I already got Sarah. I can be as crazy as I can be in here. However I should not allow my craziness to go beyond the parameter of the blog. That is what this blog is all about. For me to do a social distancing.
NEVER EVER MAKE THE BLOG PUBLIC for whatever reason.
I have to remain Private. Otherwise I will repeat the same mistake I did 20 years ago.
I have the right tool and the perfect vehicle to live my own fantasy. I DON'T NEED THE OUTSIDE WORLD.
This illness can be contained. All I need to do is identify the triggers and avoid accidently pulling them. My damage with Els is irreversible. At the very least I should avoid making a fool in FB. Otherwise I will keep losing friends.
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