That is the minimum requirement for me to move forward. I cannot let my mind be clouded by FUD.
As it is, I am operating on a high ground. I have no major issues to deal with except the MCO. When that is over, I will get back on track with my plans.
This is a very long journey. I should be able to pace myself for the next 21 years.
I can envision myself running again. All it takes is 3 months of relentless determination. I need to commit 5 days a week to the training.
The key is to overcome the inertia and to build the momentum.
I need to find the source of my motivation again. That is to be thin and fast. What I can do this year is to focus on consistency.
I need to put Els in the back burner. Back to being a Unit Trust. I cannot treat her like a Savings Account. She is too erratic. I cannot count on her in being consistent.
I need to solve this issue of her not being responsive. I hope the watch can tip the scale. If she is a stimulus response person, she will be able to forgive, forget and forgo.
Stories are good. I can continue writing to her as if nothing happens. I have to persistent and consistent. It is a marathon. I need to pace myself.
I know these are mundane stuff to you Sarah. However, as mundane as it is, these things shape up my mental model. I need to be able to move with certainty.
Honestly I like taking it to the brink. High risk high return. I should not invest in stock market. I am a bad punter. But with this chick, I am playing according to my own rules. All I got to lose is time and money. Time I got aplenty and money I have sufficient.
Maybe I should invest on dating sites. However I don't like the idea of mass approach. I tried that with Twoo and I ended with Azzue. Not worth the effort at all.
This is the Rifle Approach. Already she is a sitting duck. Beyond her being necrophiliac I have a captive audience. Plus she gives me the dopamine hit. I should be happy with that.
I have until 2024 to play this game. Five years to go. Then I move on. I might move on sooner. Depending on the level of excitement I get. It could be as early as next year. That is the year Lizzie retires.
What can I say Sarah, my world is really small. I don't have many people I can interact with. So as a protest vote, I unlike her videos LOL.
What else can I do? Given the treatment I get from her, I am better off not patronizing her. I am waiting for the moment that I had enough of her. The time will come I'm sure. Just like I had enough of Crew 36.
I am hoping that once I am into running again, all these will vanish. I have more reason to buy myself running shorts and a running watch.
Actually my main issue is to get thin. Once I am thin, there is a new world opened for me.
I am hoping for the hypomania to subside so that I can enjoy being normal again. At this point I am experiencing a slight depression. Not being motivated and everything.
--------------------
What motivates me at this point? I am extremely motivated getting responses from Els. Is that just it?
I should be very motivated to exercise beyond anything else. My routine was off track by the MCO.
Els is just another distraction. I can spend time and money on her but the gist of it, she is just another side game I am playing. I should move to the main action by reading and exercising.
Why am I not motivated? I hope this is just a temporary setback caused by the MCO. Already I feel different reading Keep on Running. As I progress, I should be more active with my runs.
As for social interaction, I already got the blog. I can always write to you.
---------------------
I think what I should do is just flow. I already had a roadmap. Now is to follow the plan I had set for myself.
---------------------
No comments:
Post a Comment