I am on my Vision Quest again. I cannot afford to have any distraction. I need focus. At the same time I need to stay positive.
The way to do it is to have a sound mind in a sound body. I should not be involved in a damaging relationship. A relationship should make me inspired to pursue my goals.
How did I do it with the 3 Cs? I was having an emotional stability with Sarah. In the end it was my relation relationship with Sarah that matters. That is an Unconditional Love.
That relationship is dependent on me being emotionally stable. I should now allow my mind to be distracted.
I don't need a relationship with Els. I was treating her as a pet for me to play around with. Well I achieve my objective.
Obviously, she doesn't like me poking fun at her.
Now is to shift my focus on things that matters.
Personally I was guilty. So now to get on with the show.
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Tonight I sleep at 11:00 pm again.
This is breaking an addiction. I need 3 weeks to do that. In the meantime I reinforce a new habit.
Whatever it is I need to keep on writing. Doesn't matter if I write junk. I need to maintain level headedness. That's the way I move forward.
Different times different situation. When I look back, in 2019 I was still unwell.
The way around this is to entirely quit cigarette and dope.
Even Nicorette effects my judgement.
It starts with sleep.
Time to shift my focus on things that matters
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