9/4/20 ###Need to stay strong

Well Sarah, the idea here is to maintain level headedness while cooped in the house doing nothing.

What I'll do starting from tonight is to get back my routine.  I need to maintain level headedness before I hit depression.

I try to quit Nicorette again today.  I just finished the last gum for the day.

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I take it that every single day I don't contact Els as a victory day.

I can do this.  I also can quit Nicorette.

As long as I have you I'll be OK.

So here is the deal, as far as I'm concerned, I am only accountable for 4 people on Sailbad the Sinner.

I really keep it small here.

So what if nothing is real.  There is no God and no afterlife.  In that case I don't have to worry about anything at all.

However if it's real then I have everything to gain.

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Honestly Sarah, I no longer think of the afterlife beyond the Feng Shui.

I don't care for such thing anymore.  As far as I'm concerned, my afterlife is taken care of.  I don't want to think about it.

At present I wa[s] (want) to think of my now.

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I really want to keep it simple.  It start with a simple mind.  I am tempted to just live for the day.  With this MCO, it's difficult to plan for the future.

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