I have to admit that when I was pursuing Els, I was still crazy. The test is now. Can I recover? To do that I must quit Nicorette.
When I quit Nicorette even for a week, I feel much difference. My thoughts are in the now. No longer I am concerned with God and the afterlife. These are unnecessary thoughts.
Just focus on the now. Just like the Feng Shui, the afterlife is just a backdrop. I cannot forgo the present.
What is my present? None other than diet and exercise. This is where I should be excelling.
I should be monitoring my daily progress.
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When I think about it I am guilty of fat shaming Els. I now remember, she appeared on TV and she was fat! OK no more Chubby Chubb.
Some will, some won't, so what, next.
It's good while it lasts.
I am not going to brood about it. I made a mistake. There is nothing I can do about it.
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Now about getting well.
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