19/4/20 ***I don't want to miss a thing

I tried to visualize back at what I wrote about my mischiefs and I realized you had more or less known what type of person I really am.  In short, you had accepted me with all my quirkiness.

As I told you Sarah, I am not a bad person.  There are other men worse that me.  In my case, I don't like to keep secrets.

You known me since the day I was a pothead.  I was worse then.  This is me recovering from the hangover of Bipolar.

Do I feel that what I do is right?  No it's not but when it happened I didn't feel I was doing anything wrong.

Now I realized flirting with Els was wrong but if I didn't do it, the temptation will fester inside me.  It is better I be forthright about it because by doing so I was just following the argument where it leads with the polygamy and polyandry model.

All I can say is I was insane.  There is no rationalization for an insane person.

If you are looking for a one woman man, I am not that person.  But if you are looking for a person who can love you for the rest of your life, then you found him.

It is obvious, I love you and Lizzie all the same and at the same time I love you both for eternity.  It's abundance thinking.

Look, sometimes I don't know what I am doing.  My judgement was affected by the illness.  Either that or I was truly a crazy person.  Either way I don't have the right frame of mind to function as a normal person.

So where did I short circuit?

• I am God
• I am special
• HOT
• Flight Path
• Sparta 4964
• Al Araf 7:7
• The Adjoining Croissant
• The 3 Cs

In short, I was crazy throughout my past 20 years.

I need to get back on track with my sanity.  What do I got really?  None other than what is visible now.

All those invisible creatures like djinns and demons are part of a distorted belief system.

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