29/4/20 ^^^Don't feel like taking action

Now I know who I am and where I am going, the next thing to do is take the action and do it.

As simple as that.  The only problem is I am not in the mood to take action.

I am still in this honeymoon phase throughout MCO.

MCO is not normal, I plan to take action in May.  I am certainly a world class procrastinator.

I planned the OMAD Fast and I still don't do it.

Well, as I said, I don't feel like it.  What is there to worry?  I do or don't do, I already know where I am heading.

This is not me.  Normally I will at least do something to get me closer to my goal on daily basis.  The MCO really a damper.  I am really comfortable doing what I'm doing now.  Ear, sleep, write, repeat.

As it is, at the very least I should reduce food.  I should be fasting.

But fuck it.  I decided to go with the flow.  It's difficult to build the momentum all over again.

My liver is hurting.  The answer is eat less and less frequent.

I ramble a lot nowadays.  That is the easiest thing to do.  When you don't feel like doing anything, you just ramble.

What is the objective of every living being?  To live long enough to ensure the next generation survive.  I had done that.  Now is to die peacefully.

Either I die or I thrive to be better.  I don't want to live in a limbo.

Hence, I should start seriously thinking about reducing food intake.

I should be taking fasting seriously.  That's the only way for me to reduce my weight during the MCO.

I need MASSIVE ACTION PLAN to overcome inertia.  That should build the momentum.

You see Sarah, I know all the stuff.  My problem is to take action.  I am so complacent.

No motivation whatsoever.

I hope this MCO will be over by June.  Otherwise, I will rot like deadwood.

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I bought Els gifts so that I feel good about myself.  The satisfaction of giving is equal or greater tha[t] (than) the satisfaction of receiving.  So, I give for a selfish reason.  I want to feel good.

It's just like writing those emails.  It's meant for me to feel good.  So I don't really care if she approves or disapproves my emails.

I have one target.  Naturally I put all that I got into one basket.  If I have more than one, I certainly will act differently.  As I said, Els is a stimulus response person.  That's what makes it fun.  I can predict her reactions without waiting for her response.

For example I know she will be happy receiving the watch.  I had been studying her behavior long enough to know how she would react.

Seriously Sarah, her response is irrelevant at this point.  I need an outlet to express myself.  She fulfilled my need as a giver.  Actually there is very little risk involved in me giving her gifts.  If I am rich like Munek, I even willing to write her a check for RM1 k for he to splurge during Christmas.  That is doing it with style.

Nothing beats giving cash.  I know, people can give things but rarely people give cash.  The power of cash is people remember you when you give cash.

This year I just buy her the watch, the book and the Swiss Army Knife.  These are the things that make me feel good.

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