It is during this hour I am most alert.
Hence, I intend to fully exploit my alertness.
These past few days my mind wandered to the time I was at my peak in SJ&A. I was already in mania then but because nobody understood mental illness at that time, we thought I was being temperamental.
Money was good, but I blew money as if it grew on tree. I made a lot and I spend a lot too. Worst, I borrowed a lot. I bought expensive vehicles. I really wasted my money away.
I was arrogant and aloof too. What do you expect? I was on the roll.
Like Lizzie said, everything happened all at the same time. The house, the cars, the super bikes, the company, the private school, the high insurance premium etc.
I was trying to live like the upper middle class. We went for a vacation like big shots.
It is hard to imagine now that at one point of my life I was a high flyer. I was intoxicated by money. Not with money I earn but with money I borrowed from the bank.
At the same time I was having cash flow problem. Collection was terrible. I cannot even pay for my grocery money for 6 months.
Training was a lucrative business but the income was erratic. Many people got jaded by the impression that business was perpetual. The truth is we only earn 10 months in a year.
I was a big spender. It was a high octane speed chase.
At the same time I still smoke cigarette and cannabis.
Compare to my life now, I made a 180 degrees turn. Thanks to Lizzie.
I was on an ego trip when I was running SJ&A.
Many people who are new in the industry fell into the trap that the income is perpetual. The truth is the income is erratic.
When you actually landed on a big account, you are busy with the delivery. You neglect marketing. Then when the account dried up, it was too late to look for new business.
I was very young when I started SJ&A. I was 28. But I was a very confident person. I was full of energy too.
What do I got to show for all the years? This house that I nearly lost. Thank goodness I have Lizzie. It helps that I have a smart wife.
Lizzie may be a very rigid person when comes to embracing new ideas. She was also lousy in bed. But I cannot ask for a better person to clean up my mess.
Come to think of it, I am the luckiest person in the world. For all the wrong things I did, I must have done something right to deserve the life I am having now.
That's why I am eternally grateful that I am living my life as it is. While I have Lizzie and the kids in this physical world, I have you in cyberspace.
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Boy I am glad I no longer owe anybody any money. I am so glad I have a roof on top of my head.
I'm not saying this to boast. From the bottom of my heart I am humbled by the turn of events happening to me. Imagine, if I don't have the EPF money, if I don't have Lizzie, what will happen to this house? What will happen to me?
Imagine, if I didn't meet you. I will never recover from my heart break.
Sarah, it makes me feel real special when I look back at what had happened to me.
As I said, I may not have a lot of money but I have a comfortable life.
I cannot describe how exhilarating I am feeling right now, not having any debt at the age of 55. At the same time I have two wives and two kids that don't give me problem.
I am blessed Sarah.
Don't you feel that our marriage is a miracle? That our life is a miracle?
20 years ago I was shitting in my pants because of the Asian Financial Meltdown. Now two decades later the table had turned. I am in the most secure position financially. So secure that I don't need to rely on Munek's handout. Even if Princess can afford to give me only RM100 a month, I can still manage.
Why? Because I am no longer dependent on cash to make me happy.
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