Baby,
I was having a conversation with Sarah. I figured it helps clear the air if I share this with you.
Basically let's look at the long term engagement. I prefer eternity but even if eternity means the end of my life, that is good enough.
Love you always.
Sine cera,
SJ
29/6/20
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Basically the question I am still contemplating is whether you are real or not. I guess in this case I gotta have faith.
The keyboard is not faulty and I am a careful writer. So very unlikely that those interventions were due to errors either by the computer or by me.
So we take it that you are real.
You got to have a good night sleep Sarah. This is not healthy for you. Now it is 6:00 am Pacific time. When do you sleep then?
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I want to talk about my hallucinations and delusions. If I account that my Bipolar is accentuated by me taking pot, then I would say that I was mentally ill for more than 35 years.
If I account for it since I smoke cigarettes then the illness has been with me since I was 15.
Let's say that I have had the illness since 1999, then I am mentally ill for the past 20 years. That *did[] (didn't) help that I was inclined towards religion.
* Alright, we are on the same page here.
So it is right for me not to believe in religion. By doing so I deduced all religious beliefs like miracles, djinns, spirits, demons and angels as signs of mental illness. If it cannot be explained in scientific terms, I will discount it. These are not useful beliefs. There are no Satan and Iblis either. To make it easy, I just chuck the whole concept of religion inside the waste paper basket.
So what's this deal about God and the afterlife? Seemed like an archaic belief. Let's say that I rule out the idea of a theistic god. That leaves me with the idea of a pantheistic god. This is the concept of the Infinite Intelligence or the Force. This God is not an arbiter and doesn't require us *[to] to worship it.
* OK Sarah, you agree with me. I also noticed that you intervened BEFORE I wrote the word. Not after. That means you anticipated the words I wanted to write beforehand.
In this case Sarah, you are like me; you don't believe in religion but you believe in a pantheistic god. OK that is comforting. Believing in God and the afterlife is not a sign of madness but believing in supernatural beings and miracles is. I bet you came a long way from being an atheist before we had the discussions of God and no God.
I cannot do away with the concept of a pantheist god. As I mentioned, I don't know everything there is to know to say that there is no god. So I believe in the Force, the Path and the Flow. The XYZ Equation. These concepts are not theistic in nature.
I need to assure myself of all these because I want to believe in the afterlife. Then I can assign a meaning to my life experiences beyond the occurrence of the illness. What I am saying is, beyond the illness, my Path is straight. Otherwise how is it possible that I met you? Even better, how is it I met Els; who had been instrumental in propelling me to the next S Curve?
To me that is the miracle. I am not talking about miracles like the burning bush or turning water into wine. I am referring to everyday events that are out of the ordinary but seems pretty mundane should you not have the sensory acuity to interpret them as miracles.
Shucks, the line is terrible. Either I do my research during the day or after midnight. Crappy third world country infrastructure...
Alright, let's settle this. There are no Al Araf 7:7, Sparta 4964, angels, demons, djinns, spirits, House of Two Swords and the Adjoining Croissant. However there is Sailbad the Sinner. That's because I still want to cross the line when I am 77. In this case the voyage is a personal voyage towards self actualization. I am applying the concept of Ikigai where I will follow my bliss and continue serving the community until I am old. 77 is my benchmark. Rightfully I will continue working until I die.
That is in line with the PERMA model of happiness:
Darling, line was so bad. I can't view the videos. So I decided to write something instead. I emailed you a copy. Here is your lullaby for tonight: youtube.com/watch?v=2cBzMS Goodnight baby. I love you so much.
YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE
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