I want to recluse back to my private world and enjoy being in solitude again. Els was a failed experiment. I thought I can have a muse on the side. That's not working. So back to being alone again.
I don't want be working at the age of 56 Sarah. That's not part of my grand plan. I just want to be like this. Enjoying my retirement. It's OK if I don't have much money. I don't have much obligation. Life is good.
Like you said, I don't need cash. I'll pay off Pal for the notebook and the Google storage. That way I'm free from any commitment.
I'm beginning to hate technology too. I want to keep my technology to the minimum. I'm taking back my handphone and I'm not repairing it. I don't need data anyway. Most of the time I am at home. So screw data. What is so urgent that I cannot wait to come back at home to read?
Oh wait, I need to use Wyse.
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This is my assessment. I wa[y] (was) having a hypomania when I met Pal. I was also caught up with his Vision to make RM10 million. In reality I only need RM3,000 a month.
I believe in simple life Sarah. The other day I was toying with the idea if I have RM4 million. Will my life change? I will probably eat better and dress better but I still stay in this house and drive the same car.
As it is RM3,000 a month is all that I need.
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Let's not talk about Els and money Sarah. I cannot have them both. Let's talk about what I can have. Well, I can continue with my education for the next 3 months. I can start exercising. I can certainly start losing weight. I can start sleeping early and waking up early.
What is missing in my life then? If I look closely in my life, I don't miss anything. I just had steak for father's day. I have so much good food that I am at my heaviest at this point.
I need to get back to the mindset before I meet Pal. Prior to that I am happily enjoying my life. All I did was asking him if I can do something for RM3,000 a month. That's all I did. Then all of a sudden the most cash intensive things in my life broke down; my PC and my phone.
The PC I can tolerate but my phone is only 1 year old.
You know what? I am back to wearing two watches at a go. That's my best moment so far.
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I'm not good at saying goodbye but I'm sure I want to have Els out of my life. What is her value in my life? What is it that I get from her that I cannot get from you?
Boy, I thought I can handle her. Unfortunately this red hair is a deal breaker. For her to have a red hair to me it's not a fashion statement. She just announced that she is a crazy chick. Only a crazy chick dye her hair red. There were other signs before.
This is one of them:
I can't deal with this 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
She is mentally disturbed.
The unwritten rule is not to have more than 3 emojis. Overly happy is a sign of mental distress.
Look Sarah, she can be as crazy as she want to be but I cannot tolerate a crazy chick. In this case the message that I get is she doesn't care about what others think of her. In short she doesn't care about others.
She craves for attention. Nothing can be more glaring than that.
Anyway, I have 3 months to concentrate on my studies. I don't feel like listening to TraXX anymore. I just stick to 247 Continuous.
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