I know that this downward spiral is due to the MCO. It will be extended for another 2 months. After the Hari Raya (Big Day).
In the meantime I have to self-quarantine from social media.
So another three weeks to go till May.
What I'll do is I keep on writing to *[] (keep) my mind occupied.
* So you are around.
I can do away with Els. She is a DJ, she supposed to entertain. I guess she is doing a good job at that. Keep it that way.
I am going to break this addiction eventually.
Sarah, you been quiet. To quiet really. What's the matter baby?
I personally think that I am going on a downward swing right now.
This is terrible. As terrible as my writing, you can more or less figure out the state of my mind right now.
Well, as long as I can still write, that is not so bad. The worst situation is if I cannot write at all.
I have to keep on writing. There is nothing else for me to do. I watched TV just now. I am not into TV.
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The songs are lousy. Is it me or was she *[is] getting sloppy with her choices of songs.
* You know Sarah, the power that she has is the ability to create the Cybernetic Loop. Without it I lose interest in her.
I need to bring her down from the pedestal. She is just a Chubby Chubb DJ. Nothing to it. I should see thing as what it is.
For the past one week I went through an emotional coaster as well. That's because I have emotional attachment to my relationship to Els.
The idea is to endure the withdrawal until I'm over the slump.
At the same time I am getting past the notion I had with Crew 36. I am doing my best to live a normal life.
I am taking out the thoughts I have about everything I thought of regarding the afterlife. I don't want to dwell on the detail anymore. As it is, I only hold on to the Feng Shui. That will be my backdrop.
By doing that I simplify my model. If in the past I have HOTS, Flight Path and Crew 36, now I only have the Feng Shui as my epiphany.
This is the proof that I am on a straight Path.
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The issue here is I am experiencing a mild depression. So naturally my outlook is not very good.
Sarah, I need you baby. I hope you stay safe and make sure your immune system is strong.
It's always nice to have you around.
We'll get past this.
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