My relationship with Els is nothing more that feeding the ego. [M]y (By) communicating with her I feel good about myself. In reality I am still in a rut. I am still marking time.
This is the ultimate procrastination. I just burn 6 hours twice a week where else I should use the time doing something productive.
I am a bum if I don't pursue my Vision Quest. That is my life passion. That is my Ikigai.
I need a sense of purpose and I should be passionate in pursuing my dream.
I told Glen to make a Massive Action Plan and yet I am bumming around living a fantasy life.
That's what happen when you are too comfortable. You become complacent.
Now my sleep pattern is off. Maybe I should answer my own questionnaire.
I know where I am *a[dd] (at).
I AM MERELY EXISTING
* Yeah Sarah, I need to answer the questionnaire.
I need to excel.
Where does the fire go? Where is the fighting spirit I developed in 2018 and 2019? Maybe I need the mania after all.
I need to be objectively dissatisfied with my life. I need the fighting spirit. Now I am far from being the warrior that I am.
Maybe Radzi was right. When you reach self-actualization there is nothing more to look forward to.
Am I the same reckless me 20 years ago?
I am a smart guy. I should be able to figure out what to do with my life.
I know I am not progressively moving toward my worthy ideal. And yet I am not taking action. I need to take action. Even baby steps if I want to move forward.
START TAKING ACTION
I don't have to be ready to get ready.
Maybe a one year goal is too far
I SHOULD START WITH DAILY GOALS
My days should be a masterpiece. As it is now, this posting is my masterpiece. This is a progressive realization toward a worthy ideal.
I am a kinetic energy.
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I should not be so hard on myself. At this point I had reached point zero. Not many people had reached this point in their life. Even those who make millions are still in the red. Here I am no liability and no debt.
I should give myself a pat on the back for achieving that.
MY ISSUE IS TO MOVE NORTH FROM HERE
That's right. I had reached point zero. Next is to move north. The thing is moving north need effort. It requires me to step out of my comfort zone into the new territory.
I had been stalling since February.
TO TAKE ACTION I NEED FOCUS, PERSISTENCY AND CONSISTENCY
What is my biggest hindrance?
I say the main issues are comfort and complacency.
What is my strength?
I say my main strength is I never give up. I may not produce result immediately but as long as I stay focus, slowly but surely I reach my destination. I am a long distance runner. Once I start, I will finish what I started.
What is my weakness?
I am a world class procrastinator. I need to study procrastination if I want to win over it.
Heck, I might as well answer my own questionnaire.
GREEN LIGHTING:
What have you done right for the past 1 year?
I quit the 3 Cs, I settled the housing loan, I paid Lizzie's debt and I bought her car for cash
What are your successes?
I wrote Lose Fat Stay Fit in 2017, I finally have a savings in 2019, I ran the 11 km Hill Run in 2014, I ran the 21 km in 2014, I managed to lose 19 kg in 2014, I ran the marathon 2004, I drive a new car, I own 10 watches, I am married to 2 amazing women, I have a wonderful family, I have a few good friends.
What are the lessons you learned from your successes?
I realized that I am the luckiest person in the world. I don't need much money to be a success. I can be a success right here and now.
What are your constraints/concerns at this point?
My concern right now is I am too comfortable and complacent.
If you are guaranteed success, what will you do differently?
I will run on daily basis like Dean Karnazes.
If you have unlimited resources what action will you take?
I will save it in EPF and only draw monthly allowance based on the interest that I earn.
RED LIGHTING:
If you need to take immediate action, what will be the 3 things that you need to do?
- I will quit Nicorette
- I will lose 30 kg
- I train [for] until I can run 10 km/hour
What is the biggest hindrance at this moment?
I am too comfortable and complacent.
How do you propose to overcome this hindrance?
I need to win one day at a time
What is your main strength?
Once I decide to pursue a goal I will work on it no matter how long it takes.
What is your main weaknesses?
I am a world class procrastinator.
Do you know where to look for resources to help you move to the next level?
Yes, I have Fitness 22 and I have my running books. I should do OMAD too.
What are you willing to do in exchange of result that you expect?
I am willing to STAY HUNGRY and EXERCISE DAILY
Are you having a balance life right now?
No, I'm not.
How is your sleep, diet and exercise?
I don't sleep on time, I eat too much and I don't exercise daily.
Are you under a lot of pressure presently?
On the contrary I don't have enough pressure.
Do you have a clear and definite purpose with what you want to achieve?
Yes I do. I want to be thin so that I can run fast.
Here is the Pivotal Question:
How do you leverage on your past successes and your strength to overcome your constraints and weaknesses to achieve your desired result?
Take your time answering this question.
I need to visualize myself as a successful person. Not as a bum like what I am feeling *no[t] (now). It's all boils down to having the will to win and take the necessary action to overcome inertia. Stop thinking of myself as a loser because I am really a winner.
* Sarah my darling. Thanks for believing in me.
How are you doing right now?
Not too good. I am wasting a lot of valuable time listening to TraXX. Rightfully I should listen to 247 Continuous as my Cybernetic Loop. Those time I am wasting away, I should use to do house chores or read. I should be motivating myself on daily basis by putting in positive input in my mind.
Can you describe what your future will be like?
My future is dependent on me losing 30 kg and be able to run 10 km at a go. This is May and I haven't really been serious in my training. I fear that if I do not start doing something by next week, I might miss my June training and thus the window to run 10 km Hill Run by my birthday.
At this stage do you think you are in Green (everything going smoothly), Yellow (something need to be iron out) or Red (everything is out of control).
Yellow.
Why do you say that?
I started exercising again on Saturday last week but I blew it by not sleeping on time. I also started the Online Management Coaching which is really a distraction for me to exercise in the afternoon.
Did the questions manage to get you in the frame of mind for you to think clearly?
Yes, especially in looking back at my successes. Like I said, I thought I was a loser. The truth is I am a success. I also identified that my biggest hindrance is comfort and complacency. Also I realized that TraXX is a waste of time.
OK let's summarize.
As a whole it is still not too late to set on the right course. As long as I don't do the 3 Cs I am still at point zero. I need to have firm commitment in my life. Right from the beginning, I am lacking commitment to follow through albeit dieting or exercising. I am lacking discipline too.
Mostly I am living in the make believe world. I got to return back to planet earth. Stop fantasizing about the future. The future is created today. So if I want to have a compelling future, I need to make sure my present is a success. My future begins today. ACT NOW!
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In conclusion, the Online Management Coaching is a tool I created to benefit myself. So the participants were merely Beta Testers before I run it on myself. Sashi wanted to go through the questionnaire. After that, even if nobody takes up my offer to do the coaching, I am fine. I should be the main benefactor of the questionnaire. This will be my regular review to keep me focus on my goals
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