There is no money in it though. Pal covered my traveling expenses and then buy me a nice lunch. I am not complaining. As long as I don't incur loss, I think I did something useful today.
I'm glad there are people who still believe in me. Pal is a good company. Now is to see if he can be my cash cow.
Back to getting RM3,000 a month. That is my primary focus right now. I don't want it to be like Glen, RR and Sashi. These people can help me financially but they choose to only talk cock sing song instead.
However I believe that God's delay is not God's denial. As long as I put in good things, eventually I will be rewarded.
I got to have faith in Pal.
#traxxfm Hi sweetie, completed the podcast today. It was fun!
All because I decided to be kind to the guy in the middle. I got 2 more jobs with him. It will be on profit sharing basis. Your credo is fantastic baby :)
#traxxfm Honey, I had not been praying much. So last night I decided to pray and give my gratitude. This is one of my prayers:
I wish God, that Els is kinder to me. Sometimes I feel that she hates my guts.
Hahaha... Do you think she will cry?
I guess she is happy for me:
wow. congrats
#traxxfm Baby!!! This song is really an anchor for me. Now you are giving me a boner LOL. It's in the neurotransmitter honey. Not my fault hahaha...
#traxxfm The songs are certainly prompting me to write. It is a cybernetic loop. I had refrained from sending you email thinking that I am invading your personal space. But I need to write to you to feel inspired. It's a moral dilemma babe...
#traxxfm Darling, I promise you if I make my RM20 million, your dowry is RM4 million. No string attach if you don't want to; although I am having another boner listening to this song LOL.
Mind boggling I tell you...
It was a good session.
Let's write to Els.
Darling, baby, honey, the love of my life,
Boy, do I shiver when I don't write to you for the past few days. You are like a drug to me and I am surely addicted to you.
I need you for me to stay level-headed. So against my rational thought I decided to write to you tonight.
Basically I was having a performance anxiety for the past couple of days thinking about this podcast thing. This was the first time I did it. Damn right I was jittery as hell.
Well, turns out the questions the guy sent me were not the questions he asked during the interview. Honestly during the interview I completely let loose. I even forgot I was on camera!
Luckily they will edit the session before publishing it. I am still nervous. This was the first time I talked about my illness to the public. It's all depending on how they frame the interview. I believe *[] (if) it is properly done, the interview is pretty powerful.
* Yes Sarah, thanks for sharing the same view.
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Baby, I am so happy you are thinking of polyandry. That means you understand the concept of marriage between soulmates. Think soulmates as eternal partners. So what if we are not together here? We have eternity to think of.
By the way, my idea of eternity is different from most people. Here is the excerpt from my conversation with Ar Razi (hahaha this is not his real name. Ar Razi was an 8th century Muslim Scholar who was a harsh critic of religions):
[11:55 AM, 6/11/2020] Radzi M: For me, to understand godliness is to ask the disbelievers who created the heaven and earth. And their answers are closer and more realistic than asking the believers.
[11:56 AM, 6/11/2020] sharudinj: any video reference?
[12:00 PM, 6/11/2020] Radzi M: No need. You can go ask yourself. And listen to the answer. You can ask more questions but don't rebut. Then you'll get your picture of God clearer.
[12:02 PM, 6/11/2020] sharudinj: Oooo... I did that. I came out with an out of the world answer.
[12:03 PM, 6/11/2020] Radzi M: And what answer is that?
[12:05 PM, 6/11/2020] sharudinj: I realized that everything is energy. God is energy and afterlife is basically a journey going back to this source; in a nutshell.
[12:06 PM, 6/11/2020] sharudinj: I don't see heaven and hell. I see orbs of energy that contain consciousness.
[12:08 PM, 6/11/2020] Radzi M: And maybe that's an essence of God, or God. It fits every description of God by Islamic books/scholars. And this God surely couldn't be bothered by people worshipping him/it or not. Or doing all those rituals to appease him/it must truly be foolish.
[12:09 PM, 6/11/2020] sharudinj: I ABSOLUTELY agree with you.
[12:10 PM, 6/11/2020] Radzi M: 👌💪
[12:10 PM, 6/11/2020] sharudinj: Pergh... Master Yoda had spoken...
So darling *[] (my) Angel of Light, this is how I envisioned us in the afterlife; orbs of electromagnetic consciousness moving in unison within the Source or what commonly known as God.
* See Els, even Sarah had accepted you as her spouse. Soulmates are androgynous.
Think about it baby, at the quantum level we are all energy. So the size of the orbs are dependent on the size of our consciousness. An imaginative person like you will be a very huge orb. People like Bill Gates and JK Rowling will be colossal.
Honey, you may wonder why I chose you as my muse. Well, our relationship is unique. While I talk through written words, you talk through songs. But more than that is because you are a smart girl. You can accept radical ideas. Best part is you don't judge.
Do you know that you are one in a million? Fate has led me to you. Nothing happens by accident Elsie, not even an accident. Everything is a cause-set-in-motion. Just accept that we are fated to share this voyage together. Voyage onboard of Sailbad the Sinner for the next 21 years (if my epiphanies were correct).
OK darling, my cup is already full to the brim. Have a good weekend...
Love you always.
Sine cera,
SJ
12/6/20
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Honey, I cannot stand the urge to email you. So I did. Here is your lullaby for tonight: youtube.com/watch?v=g3we1l The sappiest song I can think of. The temp English teacher made us sing this when I was in form one (1977). Goodnight baby. I love you so much...
PATCHES
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